I Can't Let My Emotions Show
by XxXmyrazorsuicideXxX
Summary: Rachel's been dating a man for a while now, but he recently started to beat her. How will Puck take this?
1. Chapter 1

Rachel struggled out of bed Monday morning, forcing herself to keep moving over the amount of pain she was in. Everyone had been noticing her behavior slowly change over the last few months but they all put it down as stress, what with her boyfriend, school, music compositions, Glee club and trying to maintain the new friendships she had because of Glee. None of them new the real reason of course, Rachel had been seeing a new man yes, and she was pretty sure it was love.

They had met a couple of months ago and things were going great, except the last three weeks. At first her boyfriend, Jeph had gotten fired from his part-time job and that night when they went out together he took out all his rage on her, screaming almost the entire night. Everything she said was grounds for a fight and by the time she was home she was so scared that all she could do was cry herself to sleep.

Jeph came by the next day and apologized profusely and like any good girlfriend would she forgave him. However things began to escalate, he was angry most of the time always blaming her for things that couldn't have possibly been her fault and when he wasn't angry all he did was apologize but nonetheless she remained scared most of the time she was with him. Rachel was convinced it was only a short time thing, but the whole situation fast became out of hand.

Rachel hobbled into the bathroom joined to her room and looked at herself in the mirror, the dark circles around her eyes was all the evidence you could need, her lip was swollen with a cut that had bled furiously. She lifted her shirt to see the dark blue and purple bruises on her ribs. Soon enough it would all be over, Jeph would come out of his depressive stage and they would go back to being the great couple they were.

Rachel kept telling herself this, denying anything was wrong when asked. She didn't even care anymore, slipping on a pair of track pants and a t-shirt she applied enough make-up to hide every secret and practiced walking normally before heading to school.

Rachel arrived at the school a little later then she would have liked but with still enough time to get to class, she walked through the school like a meek little child, right now she didn't have enough energy to be her usual peppy self, and it would put her in a lot more pain the she already was. "Hey Rach." Finn had joined her on the short trip down the hall to her locker. "You look tired, whats going on?"

She sighed rather loudly, "good morning Finn, nothing is going on, I'm not tired at all." She forced herself to look up at his face which only sent shooting pains down her back and put on the best fake smile she could.

"Okay, if you say so." He gave her a suspicious look but let it go anyways. "So I'll see you at Glee practice tonight?" Rachel held in a groan and nodded. "Alright awesome." Finn abruptly raised his hand to give one of his football buddies a high five but the sudden movement made Rachel flinch. "You sure your okay?"

"I'm fine Finn, see you after school." Finn let it go turning down a hallway, while Rachel opened her locker. Grabbing the books she needed she headed to class. By lunch time all Rachel wanted to do was go home and sleep but she didn't miss school. Instead she headed to the choir room, sing was the one thing that could actually make her happy at this time. However every time Rachel sang now tears threatened to fall.

How is it possible for one person to have so much control over one person? She sang her heart out on this particular occasion, letting all of her emotions go. If she had been a little quieter she might not have attracted the attention of Noah Puckerman. He stood in the door of the choir room and waited for her to finish. "Whats been going on with you Berry? I haven't been annoyed by you in a while."

"I'm a little stressed but I'm sure I will be fine soon." He moved closer into the room picking up on her tears and the waver in her voice.

"Whoa, is that a black eye Berry? Hitting on some other girls man." Puck couldn't stopping himself from snorting at his own joke. Rachel touched the spot under her eye where her make-up had run.

"It's nothing Noah, if you would please leave me alone now." She tried to sound confident but her voice betrayed her yet again cracking and squeaking the whole way.

"Fine, I was only trying to help." Puck put his hands up in a defensive way and walked backwards out of the room. Rachel stood up, deciding that missing one day of school would be alright she called Jeph and asked him to pick her up.

She waited outside for nearly twenty minutes for Jeph to show up and when he finally pulled up she had to gulp at the look on his face. His nostrils flared and his eyes screamed rage. She got into the car slowly and shut the door, he layed into her screaming how angry he was for making him leave his school to pick her up and having to waist his lunch on her. He raised his hand and slammed it down across her face leaving a bright red hand print before pulling out of the student parking lot.

Neither of them saw Puck watching them from the door or his outrage and anger at what he just saw but it was deffinitly a sure thing that he would pay for ever putting his hand on the women he was secretly in love with.

* * *

_First Chapter, I will continue but I kept it short to see what you guys think before I commit to it._


	2. Chapter 2

It all started in a milli-second of time; one touch was all it took to spark the feelings Noah Puckerman had for Rachel Berry. It happened in Glee Practice, the two of them were paired together for a duet, and of course with the amount of talent between them they rocked the performance, but in the few minutes after the show Rachel threw her arms around Puck's shoulder, her perfume wafted into his nose.

The side of her face made contact with his, a burning sensation heated his face and made his heartbeat turn rapid, a small amount of sweat leaked down his forehead and his breathing become erratic. She was always on his mind, the next day Noah did the only thing he could think of, he walked down the hallway with some of his football buddies, when he saw that they were approaching the tiny brunette Puck intentionally moved over brushing his bare arm against hers.

He knew they both felt the same burning sensation and tingly feeling by the way she jumped at the contact but he pretended he felt nothing and continued down the hall. A series of other things helped tip him off about his feelings but there were mostly the four main reasons he knew he was in love:

Everything she said had a cute factor and brought butterflies to his stomach, not seeing her for a couple of days made his chest feel tight like it was being squeezed, a sort of deep emptiness that felt like he would never recover from it settled into his very being, every time they were in a room together it was like they were drawn towards each other and there were no other people for miles away, always finding himself trying to talk to her but still managed to end it by offending her in some way which killed him a little every time and the fourth and final reason was the biggest one he could think of. It happened after football practice, Puck and Finn were making their way across the student parking lot when the conversation of Rachel arose.

"Well it all depends, if you had to describe the way you felt about Rachel right now, what would you say? No thinking about it first." Finn clutched his sports bag strap and hoisted it higher on his back.

"Ok, being around Rachel is like.... pissing my pants." Finn started laughing and shot Puck a stupid grin, " because everyone can see it but only I can feel the warmth." Noah had to admit for a first minute explanation he had done a pretty good job.

"I think you have your answer dude." Finn clapped Puck on the back and headed towards his car without another word. Noah Puckerman spent weeks trying to convince himself he was wrong but to no avail, he had serious feeling for Rachel Berry. Something inside of him had a deep emotion for her and a sudden overwhelming urge to be her protector sank in.

Puck was concerned, Rachel had left on Monday at lunch and by Friday she still hadn't shown up, Finn had convinced him to wait before rushing over to her house, promising that if she still wasn't there on Monday they would go over together and check on her.

* * *

Rachel's tired form lay beaten and bruised sleeping soundly in her tiny pink bed on Thursday night, her fathers had been out of town the last couple of days leaving her to lay around without being questioned. She had been to exhausted to go to school the last couple of days but promised herself she would work extra hard when she did go back. The nights she had of rest were restoring her overall look and she had been pretty sure everything would work itself out soon. The loud bang of the front door being smashed open jolted her out of the sound sleep, she slipped the blanket off of herself and touched her bare feet to the cream colored carpet.

Her tiny body was dressed in a white night dress that hung about mid-thigh, she approached her door and looked down the stairs. It was Jeph, he climbed the stairs slowly an evil grin sketched into his handsome features, she immediately felt a threat and ran into the bedroom, but he was already there with a foot in the door. With his strength all it took was one hard shove to knock her backwards onto the floor.

Rachel scrambled to get up and Jeph was all to willing to help grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling her to the bed. "Jeph please stop." Her pleads were in vein, he wasn't himself the smell of alcohol seeped into her senses as he pushed her onto the bed and straddled her waist. She screamed for help but he was having none of that throwing a right hook straight down on her nose, a loud crack echoed threw the room and blood pooled down her top lip and into her mouth as she cried out in pain.

Her eyes watered mixing with the already present tears to drip down the sides of her face. "Please baby don't do this." He knew Rachel was a virgin and wanted to keep it that way, but could really give a fuck less. She went into survivor mode punching and slapping every inch of his body she could reach. Jeph responded by grabbing her arms and holding them above her head.

With his free hand he roughly pulled down his jeans, she continued to scream and struggle against him, fear coursing through her body. She had to do something to protect herself but the only thing that would work in this situation was to run away in her thoughts. To get as far away from her current situation as possible. He continued slipped her panties to the side and sliding his large swollen member inside of her. The pain brought her away from her sanctuary and put her right back into the horrid situation. Blood dripped down her thighs soaking her bed and night dress. If she had ever felt vulnerable or raw embarrassment this moment in time trumped every other.

* * *

Puck couldn't help but look up every time he heard a door open, he knew it wouldn't be Rachel but the hope remained the same. He was worried and a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach told him something was wrong. He didn't want to wait till Monday but refused to rush over there on false pretenses. So he waited and every agonizing second made him even more tense. His composure remained strong but there were always the thoughts of bad things to come running through the back of his mind.

* * *

Rachel sat on her bed for most of the day Friday just staring at the wall, a catatonic state had taken her over, she was stuck in her head, it was like she was on auto pilot her body moved but there was no thought put into it. The scene from the night before kept playing and re-playing in her mind. He body moved down the stairs of her house and took her outside, the weather was dark and stormy, cloudy, with rain hammering on the city. The tiny pelts actually stung the skin as the dropped, fog covered the streets making it hard to see but it didn't matter anyways Rachel's body was sore, her deflowered body ached and it was hard to walk but her body pushed through. Her white blood stained night dress was already see through.

* * *

School was over for the day and everyone had gone home, Puck walked out of the school, he loved the weather when it stormed, everything seemed more real. He wasn't enthusiastic about leaving, after all he would just be heading home to chill for the night. He took the long route around to the student parking lot walking across the football field. He was lost in his own thoughts, until he saw the tiny brunette figure rocking back and forth in the middle of the field a sick sense set in, something was wrong with this picture. He approached the girl cautiously, bending to see her face as he got closer. He noticed the blood on her dress and became increasingly more worried. "Hey are you okay?" The girls head twitched but didn't look up, and Puck realized who he was looking at. "Rachel?" She didn't even move as he ran forward. "Rachel, look at me." He slipped his jacket off her shoulders and wrapped it around her. "Rachel!"


	3. Chapter 3

Puck forced Rachel to look up at him, he was confused and more then a little worried. Her dark hair was soaked and clung to her face, raindrops would hit her eyes and she wouldn't even blink, the only thing she did was rock back and forth. Puck scooped her up in his arm and started running to his truck as fast as his legs could carry the two of them, he was actually surprised at how light she was, the weather was getting worse, hail was starting to pelt the ground and bounce back up.

Puck wanted to make sure he got Rachel out of the rain before the thunder and lightning got worse, he was sure she would probably have a cold after this. It was only 4 pm but with the fog and the mass of black clouds covering the sky it sure looked like it was night.

He put her down leaning her against the truck but held a hand to the small of her back making sure she didn't fall as he tried to open the passenger door of his truck, he was rushing and kept shaking as he tried to slide the key into the lock, he finally succeeded hearing the click. He popped the door open before sliding her into the seat.

"Rachel look at me." He head fell to the side and her eyes stared right through him sending shivers up his spin. Puck didn't know what to do in this situation, he wasn't thinking clear.

* * *

Rachel watched Puck, she knew what was going on but couldn't seem to take control of her own body. She watched him lean over and buckle her seat belt belt and shut her door. She wanted to cry her eyes out and tell him that everything he was doing for her would never be forgotten.

She knew somewhere down their was a good hearted person, but he had his reputation to uphold. She hadn't been paying attention and the next thing she knew they were driving, she watched not really paying attention until they stopped and Puck got out. He opened her door and picked her up, they were at a house she assumed was his.

* * *

Puck grabbed Rachel and ran up the stairs to his house. He opened the door and looked around. No one was home, he was happy about that as he set her body down on the stairs while he closed and locked the door, he slipped his shoes off and picked her back up carrying the limp body of Rachel Berry up his stairs and into his room. The thought of bringing her to a hospital had never occurred to him, he was acting on instinct.

Putting her down as lightly as possible, the tiny twin size bed sank in under he weight and she fell back so she was lying down. He moved over to his wooden dresser and opened the second drawer grabbing a one of his only dry black t-shirt's and pair of his boxers out of his top drawer.

How was he supposed to do this? Should he call Finn and ask him to bring Quinn over? The loud crack of thunder followed by heavier rain answered that question for him. He couldn't ask her to come out in this weather. He sat down on the bed beside her pulling her up into a sitting position and angling his body towards her, slowly he lifted the white blood stained night dress up and over her head. A loud crack vibrated over the city and the light in his room cut out.

He was expecting her to slap him or start yelling but nothing, she was hardly even breathing. She had an even better body then Puck had imagined, toned and sexy. She wore matching black underwear with little pink bows on them, he slipped his t-shirt over her tiny shoulders, it was at least three sizes to big and made her look even smaller. He stood up in front of her and grabbed her hands, "Rachel, I need you to stand up."

Puck pulled her up and hesitantly let go fearing she would fall back down. Kneeling down he picked up the silky boxers and slipped them on pulling them all the way up her smooth toned legs. He stood back up and looked into her empty eyes, he found himself wanting to shake her until she came out of this state and grilling her for information, if this had something to do with her dumb ass boyfriend then Puck knew his anger would take control.

He wouldn't be responsible for what he did. All he knew was if he was right that guy would be in a world of hurt. Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked her to the side of his bed. He pushed her down and pulled her feet onto the bed before covering her in his blanket.

* * *

Rachel laid on her side staring at Puck, she couldn't make her eye's look up, all she could see were his jean covered thighs. She knew he would leave soon and her stomach ached at the thought. She didn't want him to go, if she was alone she wasn't sure she would be able to handle the silence and her own brain screaming the scene from the other night at her, the last thing she needed was to be alone and mess herself up more then she already was. Her thoughts were so dark right now and if she couldn't focus on Puck then they would be all she had to turn to and that was scary.

* * *

Puck shifted his weight a couple of times before he started to leave, and before Rachel could register what happened her hand shot out and grabbed his. He jumped and spun on his heel to face her a little stumbled back and knelt in front of Rachel, he waved his hand back and forth in front of Rachel's eyes but she didn't respond at all. He understood what she wanted and pulled a chair over to sit beside the bed. He dropped himself down on the chair roughly and looked at her chest rise and fall lightly, she was so graceful and elegant compared to him.

* * *

Rachel stared at Puck, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, never taking his eyes off hers. Were his eyes always so intense and .... beautiful. She took in the shape of his face stopping to admire the curve of his lips, the shape of his nose, every little thing was just so handsome. She found herself wishing he would pick her up again so she could feel his big, strong, safe arms against her body again.

She loved the way his semi-tight t-shirt showed off his chest and stretched across his broad shoulders. Butterflies brew up in her stomach and suddenly Rachel felt very self-conscious, her thoughts became about him and him only allowing her to relax a little. Her eyelids drooped and her mind became fuzzy as her image of Puck slowly blurred and her mind shut off giving her some much needed rest.

* * *

_Ok, I know it's dark, that's the point. It will lighten up later but for now I wanted to see how much I could fuck with Rachel's personality._

_This one isn't very good but I have high hopes for the next one._

_R&R_


End file.
